A Thanksgiving Experience

It started out as a warm day and I was woken up by my roommate hollering "get up, we got to go to a friend's place for thanksgiving". A look of surprise replaced the bleariness in my eyes. During my year and half long residence in Nolan's Gotham, this was the first time I had been invited for a meal at a friend's place. Of course I had vacationed at my uncle's place during Easter and had gone out with friends countless number of times but this! This was a first. And I considered it with trepidation before nodding my consent and started getting ready. It was by no means a fast morning. We got ready at a leisurely pace and by the time we left it was well past 3 pm. The drive to his place was fun filled. We entertained ourselves by playing south Indian beat music at full volume, with our windows down and shocking the hell out of anybody who rode with their windows down. A hearty meal was followed by a few games of FIFA to kill the time until everybody was ready to leave for shopping. Of course, being end of month, I had enough money for window shopping while my companions decided to buy discounted overpriced stuff in the babe of thanksgiving deal. We went to a mall that was like no other mall I'd ever been to. It was just an intertwining maze filled with hundreds of shops. Enough to get lost in and end up losing contact with those who came with you. Sounds laughable? Well that's exactly what happened. It was a rather cold evening and I got engrossed in conversation with a friend over Facebook and my phone died within 5 mins and I turned to find that my roommate, to whom I had specifically told to not leave the shop without me, was nowhere to be found. Suddenly I was there, all alone in a place perhaps fifty miles away from my house without a penny in my pocket to aid me in getting back home. The only thought that reassured me was that my roommates wouldn't leave without me. So, without panicking, I started going around the mall in search of any of the half dozen people I went there with. Thanksgiving being what it is, the mall was flooded with crazy deal-hungry humans whose sole purpose, it seemed, was to prevent me from sighting my companions. To add salt to injury, the gods of rain chose to shower upon us with their fastest and hardest ammunition. Completely drenched, clueless as to where on earth these people could have vanished to, I started going around the mall like an addict in hunt for his daily fix. It took me 3 hours of roaming around without any means of communication to finally find them looking for me in some random corner of the complex. Heaving a sigh of relief, we started laughing at what a tiny miscommunication wrought in the past few hours. The hunt, while in vain, allowed me to observe a few things and make some observations of my own. Going through each and every store, I saw enough things that sort of made me lose faith in humanity. Two people brawling over some article of clothing ended up with one guy lying in a bloody mess. The embarrassed man ran out of the store dripping blood all over the floors while the crowd halted to peer with interest. Two seconds later the craziness had begun once again. In yet another store while walking through the rear aisles I found a bunch of teen aged girls hogging over some skinny jeans. Seemed perfectly normal until one of the girls suddenly fainted, banging her head on a railing, and fell face first to the floor. The others freaked out and one of the girls whipped out her phone and started calling someone. Stuck between people and clothes I could barely move while I overheard her call the mother of the girl who fainted and informed her about how the girl had accompanied them in spite of being terribly sick and dehydrated and how she had fainted there. Two hours into this ordeal it hit me that had this happened a decade or so ago, I would have simply begged someone's phone and called my friend's number from memory. It just showed me how dependent, lazy and mindless, technology has made us. It might have been just another Thanksgiving to most Americans, but for me it was the first time I had experienced different emotions in a country that still seems foreign to me in spite of having lived here for so long. It was, in short, quite the experience and for that I am thankful!


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I know i am 40+ days late with this article. I had started writing it as we were driving back home but was too tired to complete it and it lay forgotten until today. Just thought i should get done with it.

Comments and critics are welcome :)

My Life - A Game of Chess

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Summer of 1998. I was introduced to Chess and English, by an NRI neighbor, during his summer vacation. Little did I know then that these two would play a major role in shaping my life.

This language, a necessary tool in the modern world, has already proved to have been a great investment. Be it pleasurable interactions or unforgettable phrases from immortal writers, it has shaped me in ways that I both love and sometimes fear. Why fear, one might ask. The answer to that is very simple. This ever-changing tool, much different and much more universal than my native tongue, opened up dreams of a bigger world. It brought about the realization that I am one tiny entity trying to survive in a world full of locusts.

But this fear of being overwhelmed helped me constantly strive to learn more and more. It helped me replace ignorance with understanding and ultimately, fear with acceptance.  

Why though, is it pertinent to talk about the impact of a language in my life? Is it not universal that languages do impact each and everyone’s life? Is it not obvious that languages help with communication and expression? Then why does it get a place of importance over other things in my life?

The truth is that, as much verbally expressive as I’d love to be, social interactions are always trying. As an introvert I despise that humans are reliant on social interactions to further their cause, their lives and their survival. Expressiveness, thankfully, doesn’t have always have to be verbal. And as we have witnessed in the last decade, written communication, albeit in a digital form, has become predominant. And with it, the opportunities to express oneself, however shy or introverted they are in person, have increased significantly.

Just communicating a language however, does not guarantee proper communication. Articulation is the most important aspect of any language. While I could articulate sentences rather well in my native tongue it was second nature to me before I could even begin to truly understand the art of learning a language. That’s where learning English and trying to communicate perfectly, led me to realize how wonderful a science articulation is.

And then one fine day, it struck me how similar to a game of chess, articulation is. Different ways to move with different outcomes. A loose move could cost a life while a clever one could win you the throne. Thinking on a macro level, I realized that life, like articulation, resembles a game of chess. Every move we make counts. And every folly costs.

Perhaps, my younger self did not realize the importance of revelation. Perhaps, I was too immature to fathom the sheer power of the decision I took back then. To live my life the way I would play a game of chess.

Chess has fascinated me since the day I learnt it. Check mating an opponent after a well-played game is exhilarating. However, I have honestly never striven to win the board game. To me, the board game is only a means to pass time. To live it though, is addicting.

Life has always been a lie for me. It has been a constant deception. Hiding behind a mask is fine for a day or two. Or even a few weeks at the most. But to do that for years together. That is daunting. Roughly a decade ago, I began realizing that life had played a cruel joke on me. It had made sure that I would have to fight tooth and nail to live as myself.

In a world filled with people who take their identities for granted, here I am, fighting to live as myself. The journey has just reached the midway point and I can tell you with full conviction that my life is a game of chess. I am the king, I am the queen, I am my own subjects, and my identity is the throne.

A leap here, a parry there, with a bunch of necessary sacrifices this game is being played. With utmost patience. Gradually, the opponent, the mask that birth cursed me with, is losing ground. Gradually, but surely, he is being routed. Blow after elegant blow, until, in the near future, I shall tear him down and take my life as my throne.

But will the end of this battle signify the end of an era in my life? Would it mean that my life would stop being a game of chess?

No. A few decades hence, when I introspect, I would still believe it to be an ongoing and a never-ending game. Victories, that I considered significant in the past, would seem to be a small part of a bigger game at any given point of time. Moves that I make today would have repercussions in someone else’s game of chess even after I am gone.  

After all, we are all but unwilling pawns in this universal game of chess.

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It has been almost 20 months since i last wrote anything in this blog. To say that i have lacked time, would be a blatant lie. The truth is that i lacked inspiration and ideas. And possibly, the discipline to just sit down and start writing. Nevertheless, here is something that i just wrote based on my thoughts. Hope I do not bore you with this first-person narrative.

P.S- Anjali Ravichandran, if you are reading this, do contact me or Sanjana. 

Catching Up

The Change Part-3

this is the concluding part of this series. hope you all like them :)

please comment your thoughts on the story :)

love,

Gauri Narayanan

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The clock in the wall struck four times. I had just then completed giving the final touches to the nail paint on my toes and smiled at my handiwork. It was high time that I started getting ready and wait for Gauri. I went to bathe and then after half an hour came out wearing the towel over my chest and my hair in a tight bun under the cap. Opening the wardrobe, I chose to wear satin lingerie and a pink Patiala suit for the evening. Once I had worn the lingerie and set the breast-forms to look natural, I wore the clothes and then started applying make-up.

A year had passed since I signed my life away and became Gauri’s property. At first it had seemed like my life was doomed and that living had lost its worth. I had even attempted suicide not having been able to withstand torture at her hands, and had been saved by a furious Gauri, who then proceeded to give me the worst punishment till date. But gradually, as I gave in to her demands more and more, I started losing the will to even resist and by the time, I had been her slave for a couple of months, I began to enjoy being what Gauri had turned me into.

During this whole time, she kept me isolated from the whole world. In fact, even when I had failed at my suicide attempt, I was not rushed to a hospital and was brought back to health by her at home. She didn’t trust me with that and I couldn’t do anything. If I even stepped out of the house without her permission, I would get inflicted with pain. Anyways, life slowly took a turn when I started to enjoy these house chores. I learnt to cook well and then once I had perfected it, I started trying out new dishes to please Gauri.

Gauri never used to appreciate me and that actually became a motivation for me. To somehow get her to appreciate me for my hard work, became my dream and I strived to do it every waking hour of my life from then onwards. I would always keep the house clean, wash the dishes, indulge in cooking new dishes and then when finally everything was done, I would go and tend to Gauri and make her feel comfortable.

My days started at 5 in the morning, when I had to collect the milk from the doorstep and then start preparing breakfast and lunch. I would wake up Gauri with coffee at 7 and then she would drag me to the bathroom where she would urinate in my mouth and then make me drink it all. Then she would take a dump while I massage her hair with oil and then we both would take a bath in the bath tub, where she would make me lick her pussy and suckle her breasts till she orgasmed and then would let me scrub her and soap her up and then soap me up and harass me sexually and then we would rinse it off and go to get dressed. During working days she usually wore either a saree or an office suit. She would take my help in dressing up and making her face up and then she would dress me up, depending on her mood and then watch me practice my make-up skills on myself. Then while she read the newspaper, I would feed her breakfast and then pack her lunch and send her off to the office and then eat my breakfast.

I was ordered by her to eat only two meals a day and nothing in between, so as to reduce weight to a level that she found acceptable. At first, it used to be very difficult, but as time went by, my body adjusted and I started losing weight and size. I was also instructed to take a few tablets daily, and over a period of three months, I noticed that hair growth became sparse, hunger reduced and I even lost my beloved biceps and abs and became rather weak of frame. That was when she told me to stop taking those pills. My hair had also started growing below my neck and she ordered me to learn how to take care of it and maintain it and grow it till she liked.

And yes, coming back to my daily routine, I used to finish washing clothes, doing the ironing, cleaning the kitchen and other rooms and then if I had time to spare, spending time on the internet, trying to learn stuff such as knitting, stitching, international cuisines, make-up techniques, etc., and then practicing them. And then by four, I would start preparing dinner and getting myself ready for her arrival. She usually came back at 6 and I would welcome her with a smile and wait for her to inspect me in my evening wear. Gauri would then attack my lips for some time and when she got sated she would plop down on the sofa. I would then give her the evening coffee and then respond to her needs.

Then dinner would be served at 8 and again she would make me feed her, while she busied herself with something or the other. After eating dinner myself, I would clean up the kitchen and then if she felt like it, I would be given punishments for no apparent reason, and then she would ask me to lick her pussy and then when that was done, I would be ordered to go and sleep in my room.

The weekends were almost the same, except that there was more sex and less work. She would ask me to make a list of stuff that needed to be bought and then go grocery shopping on Saturdays. Apart from that she never felt the need to go out or let me out.

And then, a few months later, my dream came true. I had prepared a scrumptious meal for dinner and for the first time, she smiled at me and told me that the food was good. Hearing that, I became so happy and there were tears of joy in my eyes. Seeing that, she asked what happened, and when I told about it, she hugged me and told me that I finally seemed to have learned my lesson and that she was happy with what I had become. That night, for the first time, my penis was let out of chastity, after ten whole months, and I was allowed to please myself in the toilet while she watched. But try as I might, I couldn’t make it get aroused and finally frustrated, I cried of having lost my manhood entirely. Then Gauri came to me and started groping me and dominating me in ways that made me surrender, and then, to my surprise, I got aroused and ejaculated. She laughed and told me that I definitely had changed beyond recognition. This whole thing was making her more and more happy for some unknown reason. Then I was locked up in chastity again and ordered to please her.

But this time, I noticed something different in the way she handled me. Usually she would be very aloof and order me around but tonight, it looked almost as if she cared for me and she went slightly soft on me.

After that night, things started changing fast in our household. I started looking after the house with more fervor and worked day and night to keep Gauri happy always. And I soon realized that I had fallen in love with my captor and that I wanted to be hers all my life. Even if it meant that I never meet another soul ever and remained captive in this house forever. My attitude changed and I started cooking with love more so than with skills and that reflected in the taste. Gauri started appreciating me for what I did and even started bringing gifts for me. She had also started treating me as a woman rather than as a slave maid and started sharing memories from her past and we started having merry moments.

And then yesterday, out of the blue, she had told me that she felt it was time, that I met the world once again and that we were going out for dinner today. She had not told anything else, except that she wanted me to look my best and had asked me to wear anything I pleased from her wardrobe. And so, after having worn it, I sat in the dresser looking at the mirror, slowly brushed out my long hair, parting it into three bunches so that they can be braided. I then made a French braid and then added clips to finish it up.

Then, at six, the car pulled up and Gauri came in and smiled at me and took me in her arms and kissed me lovingly, saying that I was looking gorgeous. Something in me flipped and I told her that I loved her.

“Later darling, later. Now I have to get ready and we have an appointment to keep” she smiled and hurried into the bathroom. I was hurt that she didn’t respond to my professing love to her but at the same time was surprised to be called as darling by her for the first time. With my mind, as confused as ever, I entered the bath and got her washed up and then we went to the bedroom where she dressed herself up in jeans and blouse and let her hair loose and wore six inch heels and no make-up. I had never seen her dress up this way and was standing there with my mouth open when she smacked my ass and then grabbed my arm and led me to the car.

It was the first time I had stepped out of the compound and I was nervous about my appearance. Although I knew that unless someone looked under my panties I would not be caught, I still felt queasy. Gauri drove the car through the traffic and I noticed that she was deliberately going slowly, so that she could feel up my thighs and steel kisses at me. I got too distracted by her antics and didn’t realize where we were going to, till she pulled up the car and asked me to get down.

It was my house. I was stunned and pleaded with Gauri to take me back home and that I didn’t want to go into my house. She just dragged me inside, paying no heed whatsoever to my cries. Having lost all my strength and will to resist, I finally accepted defeat and walked up the stairs with my head bent low and face burning red.

“Chill Swathi, they don’t know it is you. I just told them that I have a matter of importance to discuss and that I would be bringing a girlfriend to dinner. And since your sister works for me now, she thinks it is a formal dinner. Plus I never told them what I have done with you. So it is going to be a surprise for them when I do tell them about you over dinner. Just keep your calm till then.” Saying this, she rang the bell.

My sister Smitha, dressed in a salwar rather formally, opened the door and welcomed us both in. Not wanting to be identified as to who I am, before Gauri actually told them, I decided to play along and spoke casually and in a feminine voice that I had practiced and perfected in the last few months. My mother then came out from the kitchen and served tea for both of us and told us to get cozy, as dinner would be ready in some time. Gauri introduced me as her friend from college who had come for a visit and then started talking about work with my sister, while I sipped the tea and observed the house. A lot seemed to have changed in the past one year and by the looks of it, my sister was doing really well at the job and was filling the house with costly and elegant stuff. And then we were called to dinner.

The table was set and all four of us started eating when all of a sudden Gauri started talking about me.

“You know Smitha, I have been meaning to ask. You have worked under me for a year now and yet you never ask about what happened to your brother after he tried to assault me at my house.”

“Actually Gauri, we do want to know what happened to him, but Smitha here, isn’t fond of her big brother and his chauvinistic attitude. So she avoids talking about him even with me. I have asked her so many times to ask you of his whereabouts. When you came here about a year ago and told me that you had gotten a written confession from him and that you had decided to send him off to some unknown place till he learnt his lesson and then bring him back, I got worried. But I knew that you could be trusted to keep your word, so I kept my silence. But Smitha never bothered to pass my messages to you.” Said my mother while looking genuinely concerned.

“Well your son didn’t exactly treat me as a human being. Nor did he ever listen to anything that I had got to say. If there is anything that I actually remember about him, it is the force with which he beat me up and swore at me for his own blind reasons. As far as I am concerned I want nothing to do with such a person and even though I love him for being my big brother, I hate him for being a beast. Ma’am, when you told me you were going to make him learn a lesson, I thought you were sending him off to a jail. And even though I do want to see my brother again and as a changed man, I am not sure it is ever going to be possible. Especially considering that he is such a misogynist and a chauvinistic pig.”

Hearing all this, I had started crying and silently swept away my tears. I wanted to beg forgiveness from both of them for what I had done to them, but I controlled myself and kept mum, waiting for Gauri to respond.

“Aunty, your son has changed and completely become a different person. And he has learnt his lesson and I had actually come here today to discuss his future with you. And Smitha, you will be surprised to know that the male ego is so fickle and with some manipulation and deviousness it can be brought under control and that is exactly what I have done with your brother. Right now, if he was here, I am sure that he would be begging forgiveness from both of you and wanting to be accepted back into your family and striving to be a better brother to you.”

“The main purpose of my visit today is something else altogether. Aunty, with your permission I would like to marry your son, as I have fallen in love with him and would like to be with him for the rest of my life.” Gauri’s words were followed by a pin drop silence in the room and I looked at her with love and gratitude and with joyful tears in my eyes. She held my hand under the table and looked at my mother expectantly. On the other side of the table, my sister was looking like the cat had got her tongue and my mom looked like she had not heard it correctly.

“Wh-whaaat?” was the only word that my mother could manage.

“Since you seem to be shocked with my request, I think I will ask your son himself about this” saying this, she stood from her chair, walked to my side, got down on one knee, and opened a box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring set in platinum.

“Swathi, I love you. I want you to be my partner for the rest of my life. I cannot think of anyone who I love and care for more than you. Will you marry me and be my wife?”

I shouted yes and flew into her arms and kissed her all over the face, not knowing how better to show my love to her. Gauri then placed the ring on my finger and then went back to her place and started eating the food and asked me to explain everything to my dumbfounded mother and sister.

By the end of the happiest night of my life, I had gained back the love of my family and was well into making one of my own. I started visiting my mother often and almost every single night, Gauri would take me out for the cinemas or a dinner or the circus or anything else that caught her whims. Gauri proceeded to remove the chastity permanently and we started making love, in different ways which was beautiful.

One thing remained and always would remain the same though. I was her wife in every sense and I was to take care of the house and submit to her desires and needs at all the times. And even though she gave me all the freedom I wanted and even started treating me as an equal in household decisions, I chose to just let her make all the decisions, as I felt it was not my place to meddle with the thoughts of the breadwinner’s.

There was however one thing that I was very adamant about. I wanted to become a complete woman before we got married. I felt that every that happened till now was meant to be, and that my life now was that of a wife’s and that I never was meant to be a male in the first place. Gauri listened to what I had to say and then told me that she indeed wanted me to be a female but didn’t want to force to become one and hence had not spoken about it till date, and that she was happy that I wanted to become a woman as she was a lesbian and would never have perform me as a man in bed if I had decided to stay as one.

And thus started the transitioning and everything that came with hormonal therapy. My sister had accepted me and began to refer to me as a woman and as her elder sis at all times. Gauri would often take both of us out to shopping and girls night out. It took almost one and a half years for my psychologist to finally clear me for Sexual Reassignment Surgery and now here I am being wheeled into surgery with the love of my life walking beside me, showering me with words of love and assurances about the surgery. As the anesthesia hits my head, the last thought that pops into my mind is that of my upcoming marriage when I would be married off as the bride to my darling Gauri and the future that we are about to embark upon as a happily married couple.

THE END

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The Ramp Queen

hello readers,

for the first time i have written a photo caption. have been meaning to write one for a long time now. let me know what you feel about it

love,
gauri narayanan

The Change Part-2

hello readers,
                     i apologize for the long break i had taken from writing. i had a busload of work to do and exams to write. so i couldn't concentrate on writing at all.
i have written here the second part of the ongoing story "The Change". hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it :)

cheers,
gauri narayanan :)

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I can still remember every single happening of that fateful weekend. I had never had reason to step into a kitchen before then, much less learn cooking. So I was just standing there trying to figure out how to begin making a coffee whilst thinking about how my future is going to shape up to be. That woman had broken me completely and thinking back, I can definitely say that my willpower had deserted me altogether and that at that moment, in that kitchen I felt blank for the first time in my life, as though waiting for someone to order me to do something, a first in my whole adult life.

I came back to my senses and analyzed my current situation. Right now, heeding Gauri’s words was the only thought in my mind and fearing another bout of harassment from her part, I started making some coffee for her. Not having done this before, unsurprisingly my effort turned out to be bad.

“Who would need poison to kill someone? The coffee you made is sufficient to kill even the most resolute of men” she spat the coffee into my face with disdain.

I couldn’t bear it and started crying with my hands on my face and sat down on the floor. She let me cry for some time and then placed a hand on my shoulder and said softly.

“I know that these last 24 hours have been pretty bad for you. I can empathize with you and I know how it must feel to suddenly be in the bottom of the food chain. But your current situation is of your own making and it is my job to make you feel more and more miserable till you realize your lesson. You are just going to have to make peace with it and just look forward to being a good sissy maid for me. I have ordered a few clothes for you to wear while working. And one more thing. ”

She produced a blank bond paper from her handbag and told me to sign it. I hesitated thinking about the complete power it would give her over my life. It must have shown in my face as the very next second she slapped me hard and told me to sign without a moment’s hesitance.

“You have no rights to hesitate you whore. You are my play-toy now and I am not going to stand here and wait for you to go about doing everything at your own pace.”

I signed my initials in all the pages that she showed me and then was ordered to lie down spread eagled on the steel cot. And then I was locked in it with a couple of pairs of handcuffs. She told me that she expected her slaves to be hairless and since I had a lot of it I am going to undergo one of her special treatments to help me devoid of it. She also placed a ball gag on my mouth and whispered “just in case you scream like a little girl” with a wicked smile and left me dreading.

She returned half an hour later with a tin bucket in her hand that was steaming. I could not even imagine what was in it when she started pouring hot wax all over my body. She first started with my torso, then proceeded covering my arms, groin, thighs and finally my legs. The wax wasn’t half bad and felt warm and comfortable to my naked body.  She also covered up the wax with cotton rags and it looked like both adhered well as I could feel the wax pulling at my skin while the cotton was held steadfast in its surface. She left me like this for ten minutes and then when she came back she was naked herself. That was the first time I laid my eyes on her wholly and she was such a structural beauty as well as having a pretty face. My manhood was raging to have a go at her but I could not do anything about it in my confined state.

“Someone seems happy to see me like this. Don’t worry your happiness is not going to last when I start with you.” Saying so, she caught one of the rags covering my upper torso and tagged at it with force. I started screaming into the ball gag as the pain shot up my body and I could feel a thousand daggers piercing through my torso where the wax had been torn off. Through teary eyes I looked down to see that my skin was very red and sore and completely hairless. She then continued tearing away the other rags one by one and didn’t even give me time to scream. Tears were now rolling away freely from my eyes and I noticed that she was un-cuffing me from the posts. Then she lifted me bodily and flipped me on the bed so that my face was rubbing the hard steel. And before I could so much as register the fact that she lifted me effortlessly, she was locking me up again.

Half an hour and a dozen of unheard screams later, even my back was hairless. She then removed the cuffs and lifted me up and walked up to the bathtub in her bedroom and placed me delicately on the hot water filled tub. Initially it was burning but the gentle flow of water massaging my body periodically in different places made me relaxed. She then told me to sit up a little as she was going to join me in the bath.

She slid her feline body into the tub and I could notice her flexed biceps and my mind went back to wondering how she could possibly have lifted me so easily and carried me till here. I was lost in thought when a hand started rubbing lotion on my torso gently. I could see a very different woman in her at that moment and let her rub me up all over. The lotion soothed my body and when I touched myself I could feel how soft and velvety my skin had become.

Then Gauri did something completely unexpected. She came up to me, grabbed my hair and locked her lips into mine and started tonguing me with a vigor. I could do naught but let her control me while she rubbed my chest and pinched my ass. After fifteen minutes of this, she held my head and guided it towards her pussy and ordered me to perform cunnilingus on her. She positioned herself such that my head wouldn’t drown in the tub and then I started licking her pussy and using my tongue to please her orally. I had a raging hard on but she wouldn’t let me touch it and even made me occupy my hands by rubbing her nipples and pinching them. Soon she was releasing load upon load of orgasmic fluids into my mouth and even though I wanted to stop and get the hell out of there, I knew that I will not be able to stop till she ordered me to and thus I continued doing it.

After what felt like 25 minutes, I was told to stop and then made to soap myself and get out of the tub. She threw a towel at me while she dried herself and then told me to come meet her in the bedroom once I had finished drying and applying the moisturizing lotion all over my body. Once I went into the bedroom I was told to dress up with the clothes that were lying on the bed.

I got confused seeing that Gauri was already dressed and all I could find on the bed were women’s clothes. I asked her where the clothes I was supposed to wear were and she told me to look properly in the bed. Not having found any other article of clothing after a thorough search I assumed that she indeed did want me to dress up in her clothes. So I slid up the panties with much haste. The moment the silk hit my skin, a feeling that I had never felt ran through my mind. I could not explain it but the feeling, most different from what I had ever felt till then, made me lightheaded with what I could only guess to be femininity. I ran my fingers up my thighs and over the panties and encountered a bulge that was already straining me from the past one hour’s making out session. I suddenly came in my panties without realizing I had and when I understood what happened I stood there with a sense of happiness and of doom; the former for whatever I had felt till then and the latter for what Gauri would say or do when she found out that I had soiled my panties.

I was lost in thought when she turned me around and slapped me back into reality.

“I SAID, NO PLEASING YOURSELF YOU BLOODY PIECE OF INSUBORDINATE SHIT!!!”

I tried mumbling some excuse and explaining what had indeed happened but my words failed me, like they had, so many times, already that day. She saw the pain in my eyes and relented a bit and I took that pause to explain what happened rather hurriedly. She just started laughing uncontrollably.

“I never thought you’d turn out to be such a sissy bitch. You are going to be a lot easier to dominate than I previously thought” said she between snorts while all I could do was stand in embarrassment with my face reddening more by every passing moment.

I then put on the bra, but try as I might, I still couldn’t get it to hook up in the back. After ten minutes of struggling, a still smiling Gauri took pity on me and hooked it up for me. Then she continued dressing me up. First she slid up the skirt and tied it on the side and then she brought out a pair of silicone breast forms and placed it in the cups of my bra and adjusted it so that they would look natural. Then she made me put on the blouse and buttoned it up herself. She straightened out the dress and then placed a wig over my head. Then she took me to a dresser where she started applying make-up on me.

“Listen carefully now, you are going to be my maid for the unforeseeable future and I expect my maids to be impeccably dressed and to perform their work with perfection. The paper I had you sign is your ownership agreement. According to it, you have agreed to be my slave till the time I see fit to set you free. I have also fired you from your job and explained to your family that you will not be a part of their lives anymore. Your mother was worried about their sustenance but became happy when I offered your younger sister a job with a better salary package than yours. So as of this morning you are my property with no connection whatsoever to the outside world”.

“Today is Sunday. The day you have officially entered into an agreement with me that binds you to me and makes me responsible for your sustenance. However I am, by law, decreed to harass you, humiliate you and abuse you any which way I want. Also I decide what you do and when you do it. You are to serve me wholeheartedly and obey me without any hesitation. You are not to speak until spoken to and you are to always wear women’s clothes that I provide you with. You are to learn how to groom yourself as a woman properly and also you are going to learn how to maintain house properly. You are also to please me and anybody else that I bring, in bed without reservations. The next week I am not going to attend office and instead I will be home teaching you everything you need to know to keep me happy. You are to be very attentive of whatever I teach you. Any lapses of concentration will earn you punishments. And trust me, these two days are just examples of what is to come. So you better be prepared to get punished badly by me. Oh and one more thing. Lift up your skirt, remove your panties and come here to me.”

She then fitted me up with a CB6000 chastity belt, locked it up, kissed my covered up penis and then wore the key in a chain around her neck.

“This is just a measure to ensure that you don’t masturbate when you are supposed to work. It is also a means of controlling your sexual urges. To simply put it, you won’t get hard unless I want you to”.

Then she removed something from her handbag and told me to turn around and bend over. She started rubbing something cold in my butt-crack and then suddenly pushed something inside with force. At the same moment she closed my mouth with her hand and held me tight so that I could neither scream nor wiggle around. This woman’s strength amazed me to no bounds. She was just about 5’5’’ tall and would have weighed just about 55 kgs. I stood just an inch taller than her but I weighed around 70 kgs and had pumped a lot of weights in the gym too. But somehow I was weaker than her and couldn’t do anything about it. She fixed the butt-plug and then coupled it with the belt so that I will not be able to remove it. Then I was told that even my bladder movements were to be controlled by her and any untimely trips to the toilet would be rewarded with punishments.

And then came the icing on the cake, as she was to refer to it so many times in the future.

“Now that you are going to be my slave it is only proper that I name you according to my liking. Prashanth is the name of a guy and you obviously are never going to be one. From this moment onwards you shall answer to the name of Swathi.”

Saying so, she led me to the mirror and that was when I got to look at myself for the first time after I entered her house. I could not believe my eyes. There stood two women in front of the mirror. Two really good looking women. There was no trace of a male anywhere. I didn’t know what to say and was standing dumbstruck in front of the mirror. I kept looking at myself from top to toe and was getting aroused by this feminine creature staring back at me.

I had become something I never thought I would be. For all practical purposes, I was a slave and a woman. I had become Swathi.

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The Change... Part-1

dear readers,

     this is my second attempt at penning a story. some of you may not like the way this part turns out, but it is going to be a roller coaster from the next part onwards. all comments and reviews are welcomed. thanks again for reading my humble offerings.

cheers,

Gauri Narayanan.

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Memories… beating up my younger sister for wearing skirts to college. Scolding my mother for having her hair cut short. Bullying junior girls into submission while at college. Forcing my ex-girlfriend to wear sarees on a daily basis. Memories… they flash past in my mind as I am being wheeled into surgery. What a fool I had been in thinking I could dominate women just to show myself as a superior, as a dominant male in a patriarchal society. When I did understand that it was the women who do run this world, with their devious and subtle and feminine minds, it was too late. By then I had been changed beyond recognition, so much so that I don’t even remember how life before work used to be. And the reason for all this was walking beside the gurney, holding my hands and telling me how brave I am to be doing this. Gauri.

It was 3 years ago when I had walked into her office for an interview. I had been laid off from work and had been unemployed for over a year when I had walked into that interview. I was hoping it would be a male who would be interviewing me. But it was not to be. On previous occasions when I had been interviewed by women I had come off as rather irritable. God! The audacity in those women. Thinking they were superior to me and behaving like bitches, in those office suits and high heeled boots. I would attempt to belittle them through the course of the meeting and finally my ill attitude would cost me the job.

She seemed to be younger than me by a couple of years. At 26 years of age, I was a bit too old to start as a fresher. But my qualifications and my current financial situation forced me to consider taking up a job in a junior role. I walked into the room and went and sat opposite to her after a greeting and a forced smile. She seemed to be a no nonsense person and started interviewing me by asking me to introduce myself. I noticed that she was wearing a saree in a very professional way and I thought it would be easier to get this job as I could easily show my superiority. There was something about this woman though. She seemed to be impervious to my rather sexist remarks and the way I spoke. I could see it in her eyes that she was observing me very closely. And when the introduction was over, she started the technical questioning round. From the word go, the conversation was completely led by her and I just sat there answering her like an obedient school kid. It made me very uncomfortable to be in the presence of this woman. At the end she told me that I had all the necessary qualifications to work with her and that she will be recommending my name to the HRD for selection. After another round of HR interviews where I was let known of the annual income that I could expect and what all benefits that I will be having access to, I was told that I could start work as early as the upcoming week.

The day I joined work I was first called into Gauri’s cabin and was told that she had selected me, not because I had all the necessary qualifications for the job, but for the reason that I seemed to be a person who had the ability to carry out the orders that she’d give. I was baffled by her words and stood there seething in hidden anger. I calmed down and told her that I would like to start with work and would she please tell me my duties. She started listing all my responsibilities and then told me that I would be working in close quarters with her and to that effect she had arranged for a desk for me adjoining her secretary’s. I stood there trying to collect my bearings and thinking about how demeaning it was to be working separate from the rest of the group and how I had been designated a seat beside a lowly female secretary.

The day began with Gauri having me sit in her cabin, opposite her, teaching me everything I needed to know about doing my job. Throughout the day, I noticed how smart she was and how she subtly dominated me. Every moment spent with her was a prick on my male ego and by the end of the day I had finally found a woman who I desperately wanted to dominate, but could never.

The months flew by and I had learned my place in the company and hated it. I was just another secretary for her with a fancy job title. At times I would even be asked to serve beverages when her secretary was away and since our department dealt with the setting up of websites for apparel stores, most of the clients were women. This went on till a point where I wanted to make Gauri feel sorry for controlling me and for treating me, a proud male, in such a way. Thoughts of raping her and avenging myself started surfacing and over a period of time they strengthened my resolve. I started planning it out and fantasized about my triumph after mutilating her honor. I started following her and found out where she lives and what her routine was. I was delighted to find that she lives alone and hardly has any guests and that she stayed at home most of the time, except for when she went for grocery and apparels shopping, which usually took place on Fridays.

My plan was to go to her house on a Saturday evening and force my way and take control of her physically, tie her and then rape her. I had planned to cover up my face so that she doesn’t know who was responsible. I was dreaming about the look on her face when I took her and the way she’d change after that incident.

The fateful weekend arrived and I hung about around her house trying to hide from her view. She was home alone as usual and I by the time the sun started setting I went up to her door and knocked and hid away. The door opened and I jumped at it. Too late, I found that the door was free and that nobody was behind it and I fell hard on the floor. I suddenly felt searing pain in my groin area and felt something tearing away my mask and with teary eyes I looked up to see Gauri standing over me with a mixed look of disgust and elation.

“So, it has finally happened.” Said she whilst aiming another kick at my shins.

I tried to cover myself up and pounce on her when she kicked me on my torso and I could feel my ribs breaking. I was stunned and couldn’t even breathe due to shock and pain. How could a woman, who seemed so light and weak, hit me so painfully? Had I missed something? These were the thoughts that were running in my mind when she tied me up to her bedstead, spread-eagled and gagged. She then cut off all my clothes and stood over me.

“I have been expecting you to act in such a way for a long time, Prashanth. You had no idea did you? I saw you for what you were on that first meeting itself, you male chauvinist pig! I wanted to break you and show you how wrong you were in thinking that you could get away with dominating women. That was the main reason why I recruited you and gave you such a demeaning job. How do you like being my secretary? Have you heard your colleagues speak about you? How they call you my page boy and how they laugh at your pathetic position in the company. It must have been killing your domineering head to be controlled by an apparently weak woman who was three years younger to you and who was smarter and more qualified to be the leader. I still had a lingering doubt and thought you would change over a period of time, but you have not and hence you will be changed forcefully under me.”

Then she went about setting up a video camera on a tripod stand facing the bed, clearly focused on my face and the rest of my nude self. Then she left and I was all alone in the room imagining the worst and trying futilely to untie myself and escape. To my chagrin even the gag wouldn’t come off and it settled even further down my throat almost choking me. I started counting the seconds and with each passing one my dread and the feeling of uncertainty increased. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the door opened and there stood a woman wearing a tight latex blouse and mini skirt with what was clearly a 10 inch dildo strapped on to it. I moaned into my gag and with a pleading look on my face I looked up to see, not a face, but a mask to my astonishment. My heart almost failed at that moment thinking about what was going to happen next.

She turned the recording mode on and then approached me slowly with a feline walk.  Until then I had not noticed what she was holding in her hand. The moment I did, I felt that death would be a better punishment. A horse whip, the likes of which I had only seen in professional BDSM porn, was being caressed by her.

WHIP! WHIP! WHIP!

Had I not been gagged, I am sure that my screams would have woken up the whole neighborhood. She continued to whip me and I could feel my whole body burning with the pain. The torture went on for another ten excruciating minutes. She whipped me with such ease and patience and gave enough time for the impact of the previous lash to settle in fully before whipping me again. I started crying out of pain and shame and once she noticed that her vigor increased and she continued like a possessed woman. Once the torment ended, I was left alone again for another half an hour. By the time it was over and she had come back I wished she hadn’t done so as my body was writhing with pain and I had no control over it. and I had also noticed that even though I had been hit so many times, she had not drawn blood anywhere and that made it all the more painful for me.

She came back with a mug of water and started pouring it all over me and made sure that she wet my whole body completely. At first it seemed very cool and a naïve part of me that she was finally going to let me go and I relaxed a bit. A minute later I was proven wrong yet again. She told me, smiling wickedly, that it was salt water that she had poured over me and then told me to enjoy the pain, covered me up in a blanket and then left. The pain was too much to bear and after struggling against it for some time, I lost my consciousness.

I did not know how long it was before I gained consciousness again. When I opened my eyes, she was sitting in the recliner across me, observing me and then when she noticed that I was awake, she came up to me.

“How does it feel to be tormented by a woman Prashanth? Still have any desire to rape me huh? Oh wait I forgot. You need to be a man to even have such an intent. What you are is a whimpering little son of a bitch who cries even more badly than a woman. And for a man of such high self-regard, you seem to have a teenie weenie. A sissy clit.” Said she, with a cruel laugh.

Her words hurt more than the whole treatment and I broke down completely and started crying and shivering involuntarily. She kept on humiliating me about not being man enough to even have intercourse with a dog and that I deserved to have my penis cut and made to live as a eunuch for the rest of my shameless existence. After about half an hour of harassing me verbally, she told me that it was time for the finale of the night.

She removed the blanket and then spread my legs even further apart and then mounted me. I could feel something very cold against my ass and then searing pain shot through me. She penetrated me again and again with increasing speed until the pain had receded and pleasure of a kind had started seeping through me. At that moment she stopped and then went away, only to return with a bigger strap-on. This continued till she had gone through with every size she had in her arsenal and every time she brought a new one, the pain would keep on increasing. And every time I reached a point where the pleasure began she’d stop and bring in a new one. When the longest night of my life ended, I had been taken In the ass seven times and the final one she used to mutilate me was over 16 inches and when I saw it I couldn’t stop imagining how badly my ass must have been hurt.

The following morning I was woken up with a sharp jab to my face by her heeled foot and was untied from the bed and then told to clean up and present myself before her within 10 minutes. I had lost all my will power and just went about brushing my teeth and taking a dump. I found out to my utter displeasure that I could not sit at all and even the slightest of forces on my ass would trigger a bout of painful shots searing through my spinal cord. She was waiting for me at the door and then led me into the living room where I was pushed into a chair and made to sit in an erect position.

“Listen bitch!” she began in a commanding tone and I quivered with fear and looked up at her with a jerk. 

“Yesterday night was just the beginning.  I will have your full co-operation at all times and to ensure that I have recorded the whole thing in video and have locked it away safely with myself and with a friend of mine. If you do anything to go against my wishes, I will release it to the public and the whole world will see you for the asshole that you are. Understand bitch?”

My voice failed me and I nodded feebly in the affirmative. She gave me a tight slap and said “Always answer me properly bitch. Say yes mistress or no mistress. Understand?”

I summoned up the last of my strength and said “Yes mistress.”

“Very good you pathetic son of a bitch. Your indoctrination into submissiveness began yesterday night and it will not stop until I am convinced that you have learned your lesson. Now go make me a cup of coffee and remember, no funny business. Your balls are in my court now, literally.”

And with a final “yes mistress”, I hurried away to do my bidding, lest she start beating me up again.

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